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Ha

22 Jun

Again lucky to get a bus to avoid wearing my face on my boobs by the time I reach the station from from walking so I got there in good time. Time normally where I would pass the throat clearing massive phone owning dodgy ombre sporting bint who comes and stands inside me when I’m there before her, but today she was there before me and so I just stood behind her and slightly to the right as she still doesn’t know where to stand after all these weeks. She’s been wearing black tights all this week so I can only assume she is riddled with thrush and she has the same miserable snooty face every time she sees me. The way she clears her throat is heavy with sarcasm and disapproval but that just makes me laugh at her more as she is showing her delusions of grandeur yet is getting onto the same scabby pikey train that I am getting only I’m not riddled with thrush. So the train arrives and she steps closer to the edge and then the doors stop to the right of her so I skip merrily towards them and on board to the seat she seat she wanted – result and a big fat HA from me. I do semi-regret this seat as it’s a two rather than the 4 or 6 I usually get now I don’t give a shit and wait ten minutes before getting off at Cannon Street to allow the zombie fuckwits to get through the barriers. I hope I don’t get penned in by a sweaty fatty as my arm is already starting to stick to the window area. Jabba just got on at Dockyard and has already made me want to hurl by snorting back his snot. Time to post and retrieve my iPod to drown out this fuckage. I am too good for this, throat clearer is not. 

Hot Scum

20 Jun

This heat brings out the utter scum without a doubt. Managed to get a bus to the station which is a win but then it all went downhill. Firstly listening to Twat A shouting across the tracks to Twat B on the opposite platform. Fuck knows what they were on about but racial slurs kept on flowing as they discussed their work colleagues and when I say work I mean “labouring” which in this sun is essentially sitting on your ass, rolling a fag, looking at fat badly dressed women and doing no work at all while calling it “building some flats”. So thankfully that ended when the train pulled in and separated them but then I’m faced with a couple that actually look like they are on heroin complete with those scabs on their faces and they are sitting opposite each other with their legs up on the seats. Thank fuck that only lasted one stop. Then I have a whole stop to myself which is lovely at which point I’m joined by Jabba the Hut above and once again I fear for my eyesight with those buttons straining. His knee is on mine and it’s hot and horrible. He also stinks of booze today which is adding a new aspect to my hate for him. Fucks sake mate just sleep at home or get a job that starts later. I hate feeling like I’m intruding in your life. 

Cat Loving Twat

15 Jun

I’ve never been a cat lover and I don’t get the appeal at all. Woman at the station however is all about the feline and has some crazy ass backpack with a massive cat on it. She’s been irritating me for a while but this week it has stepped up as she’s become one of these people who wait in the wrong place and walk along next to the door as the train slows down to stop thus trying to push in front of yours truly and as you know that never ends well. On top of that she shoots me dirty looks while waiting in the wrong place. Today she has said massive backpack and is wearing a huge winter coat… What the fuck? A very patterned winter coat, leopard print pyjama bottom looking trousers and work boots. What a vision she is. The vile big gobbed boys got on who put their feet on fleet seats as they did yesterday but today they didn’t sit near me thank fuck. I had to action the full on resting bitch face complete with sneer for 90% of my journey until they got off at Greenwich. It wasn’t fun and they were talking about me whilst sitting opposite me but I jammed my earphones in so the Chemical Brothers drowned that shit out. Ain’t nobody got time to listen to two children slagging off a woman who is most likely the same age as their grandma. Cat lady has slumped down in her seat so she can keep some leg room. You’d have thought by now that she would know that that doesn’t work. She keeps checking herself out in the reflection to my right and then shooting me dirty looks when she repositions her head to misery mode giving the bloke opposite her evils. Haha she got up to move as the bloke wasn’t moving his legs. I’m so glad. No need to see her ugly mush for the rest of this journey at least. Time to post and stare out of the window. 

Flamingo

13 Jun

I haven’t posted for a while but it’s been the same old shit day in, day out so it would have been boring. No Debs still so I’m a tad worried there as to what is going on. The above mess is opposite me but at least it’s all tucked in unlike the two twats with their legs sticking out again. Yes, the same two schoolie twats are on board who called me rude for reminding them they weren’t at home and that their feet should be on the floor rather than the seats opposite. They made some kind of comment when they saw me but I don’t give a shit. You are like fucking 12 darlings and if you speak to me like that I can only imagine how you speak to your mothers. Schoolie sluts are also on board – when they ruck are they leaving? I can’t take their fuckery much longer. It makes me embarrassed to be the same species as they are but then again that is true of most of the “people” I encounter on a daily basis. The girl with the massive and blinding phone seems to be a permanent fixture now and has taken to standing on the left side of me rather than the right now but she’s still not in the right place for the doors. Even if she’s there before me, flicking her dodgy ombre about and clearing her throat incessantly, she’s in the wrong place. Dopey bitch. The trains have been “on time” but I know there was mass fuckery last Wednesday evening but I had already been through Cannon Street by then and missed it. Time to post. I’m being blinded by the sun and deafened by a kid who was wheeled on by a bloke with his headphones in – what a fantastic parent, hey? Twat. 

Scum

8 Jun

Back to reality today after a birthday day off work yesterday. On board the train and I’m next to two little twats who are so gangsta that even me telling them to put their feet down means nothing. I fear for the future and I can’t be arsed to type any more.