Rapping Twat

15 May

It’s a bit drizzly this morning and the train was late but we had entertainment from platform two in the form of a twat who thought he could rap. Headphones jammed in and speaking along with the drivel that was being pumped into his empty head for all to hear. It was horrific. Just had to move seats on the train and the one blocked by the bitch above is now available. Why she had to sit like that is beyond me. The window seat was empty but she still had her bag on the floor and legs crossed right in the fucking way. The seat in front is also now vacated. I did man a manspreader move in order to sit where I was before but I’d rather tuck in nicely by a window facing forward without needing to fight for knee space. He has moved right back into the position he was in before I sat there – legs akimbo, elbow on each knee and head down. Almost as if he is wanting to try and give himself a blowjob but he has too many ribs and didn’t keep up his practice from when he was younger. It’d typical that Monday is the comedown from another typically A-list weekend and this weekend I had the pleasure of Jude Law up close and personal (separated by a barrier mind) and now here I am mixing with the plebs on my way to work to no doubt deal with cyber attack panic merchants. Oh well, at least we should be able to make money from this, so thanks Wannacry – we are all winners really. 

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