Rant Time

5 Apr

I’m well and truly back bitches. I’m already sick of today and I’ve just got onto the (late) train. So it all started off so well, as I stood for a moment to glance at the beautiful sunshine streaming through my front door. The enjoyment lasted less than two seconds when the silhouette of the fat headed prick smoking a fag on my doorstep soon came to dampen my mood. It was just as I was getting ready to leave the house too and so there was no avoiding seeing the twat. Why he insists on standing out the front when they spent time and money on their four foot square garden at the back putting down decking and putting up a gazebo is beyond me but anyway. So I ensure I make noise when I’m coming out so as not to surprise him too much and there he is in his high vis tabard using my dustbin as a tabletop for his cup of hot beverage. Fucking arsehole. He then had the cheek to say good morning and I fought back the urge to reply with “die” and instead just replied with the same but in a very disgruntled way. It was obvious to me he was taking the fucking piss as those pricks don’t bother to speak to me any other time they see me when they sit out the front. So then I mince to the bus stop (as I have a sore leg and can’t be arsed to walk at the minute) and miracle of miracles the 422 is approaching. It was a little busy with the sheep all stood by the door but not too bad as the schoolie scum are all on holls now. So the bus leaves my stop and then the bell starts ringing incessantly and it’s irritating me as I seem to be the only person without earphones in. It goes and goes and when we get to the next stop it is still fucking going so natch I speak out and up pipes some smart ass Candy Crush jabbing bitch behind me who informs me that “obviously it is faulty and there is something loose inside and it keeps going off” to which I respond in the same sarcastic tone as high vis wanker got moments earlier. The bus presses on to my stop and the bell rings once. I cock my head in order not to miss any other ding dings that come and they don’t. Not a fucking peep. So I smugly smile as I get off the bus and said very loudly to the know all twat “funny how that bell miraculously mended itself, isn’t it?” and I was gone before she knew what was going on. Knobhead. Then to my third and final nominations of fuckwit of the day and that is the quintessential “businessman” who struggles to carry his laptop bag on wheels down the stairs in all his finery. He then puts it down on the ground, extends the handle, pulls it near to the platform edge, stops and hocks a great ball of phlegm towards the tracks and it didn’t even make it. Give me fucking strength. All I then saw until the train landed was the fucking huge puddle of green that he had deposited on the platform edge, glistening in the sunshine. Kill me now. I’m done. Rant over (for now). 


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