Zombie Adults 

6 Oct

Following on from the zombie kid last night and this evening’s walk has consisted of zombie grown ups lining the route going as slowly as possible. I actually came to a stand still waiting to get past where the German pub is near to London Wall as people were ambling to get up the steps and get in. I don’t understand why people are so slow. We are all tired after a commute to work and a day of work and the contemplation of a commute home but we all have to do it so why the fuck are some of you insisting on walking at a pace that makes a slug look speedy? I bust my balls to get to Cannon Street so I can get to choose which seat I sit in as the train comes into the station completely empty as it’s been out of service every day (why is that by the way? Another fucking waste of resources) but even getting here at 18.18 isn’t enough and I still have a smaller selection and don’t sit in my normal place. I no longer have a normal place. Morning or evening. It’s a thing of the past and it’s heartbreaking. On board the train when I get here instead of emptiness is a wunch of bankers (see what I did there?) including a dick in a matching tracksuit sitting on the aisle seat with his legs all sticking out while the window seat is empty. Give me strength. While I am on the subject of questionable male clothing I had a double hit of fat middle aged ass in lycra as I was coming down Throgmorton and I had to comment as it was fucking disgusting. First was a man in lycra trousers with an ass that made Kimmy K’s look petite and he then started jogging and his whole lower half undulated. Then a man in cycling shorts ON A FUCKING BIKE ON THE PAVEMENT comes screeching past and they have a bubbly, wobbly race for a moment all the while I had to cover that side of my face to avoid showing the gathered throng what I had eaten for my lunch hours ago. Men – unless you are a professional sports person,  DO NOT even consider wearing lycra. You look absolutely fucking ridiculous struggling to make it fit let alone carry it off. Leave lycra to those with a genuine athletic figure and profession. You should stick to wearing badly fitting suits and carrying a shit briefcase. I’m getting off at Charlton tonight as I cannot be fucked with the snooty pricks at Westcombe Park. I will stick to my own kind – chavscums – at Charlton. 


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