Selfish Seat Hopper

18 May

Why do you need to change seats when you already have one on a train – to then sit next to a window and fucking go to sleep? Legs akimbo, bag between legs and scabby beard breeding vile germs about the train. I had spotted the window seat as the train pulled in but the fucker who was already sitting behind didn’t want to be disturbed and so decided to skip around to the seat that I had wanted. I ensured that I slammed myself down as hard and as heavily as possible – and it caused huffs let me tell you – and now I have a semi-good seat but not the seat I wanted. It wasn’t a good start to the day anyway as the huffer made an appearance with 90 seconds to spare before the train arrived. Stood inside me to my left and spread out with the paper. He still looks as though he has something sharp poked up his arsehole judging by the constant expression of pain on his fugly mush – he makes me look like the happiest person ever without a care in the world when he stands next to me. A waft of diarrhea is wafting throughout the carriage now and because beardy skank has plonked himself by the window I fear for my health to reach over and open the window as I could catch anything living in that nest of filth. There may well be mice and rats in there but they are the least of my worries as it’s what you can’t see that will cause the issue. There is a strike on Southern today which hasn’t had knock on effect to my trains… Yet. I imagine we will be rammed at Greenwich as they will have got on the DLR from Loosham to catch a better class of train. Well, that’s what the Greenwich residents will have you believe but we know it’s a load of old shit and Greenwich is nothing special. Slightly more expensive and desirable than Loosham but the people are the same and the train service is most certainly the same. Landed at Charlton and the fuckwits of Westcombe Park are next and will be ramming themselves on so that’s my cue to post.

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