Four Thirteeeee

4 Feb

Waiting for a train which looks to be on time and near a gobby slag who is stood almost in my spot and she is on the phone and the conversation is going something like this “yeah your son woke me up at about four thirteeeeeee and I was ready to punch him and then he didn’t go back to sleep until about five thirteeeeeee and then my alarm went of at six thirteeeeeee and I didn’t wake up…”  thank God she has fucked off up the platform to bore and deafen someone else now. Train arrived at 7.40 and is nicely empty but still I needed to assert my authority and shifted an ipad watching aisle seat hogging wanker so I could sit on the inside. I moved her the other day too as I remember her over dramatic reaction then and today it was even worse with huffing and straining like I had interrupted her while finding out who killed JR with a badly timed phone call. Fuck off love, this is public transport and not your living room – be prepared to shift your massive bulk at the drop of a hat especially if you are seat hogging and arrive at Plumstead at 7.41 – pay attention. Bladder head is in front of me and the paper is already down meaning he has already given up himself to the sleep demons and as I type his head almost slumped against the window leaving a greasy mark just for a change. He is as much of a twat as every other being on thus train. Once again I prove myself to be the Pied Piper of Fuckwits. Until this evening, bitches.

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