Fold Up Bike Wanker

1 Feb

He is a permanent fixture now as I’ve seen him more in the last week than ever before and he sits in the same seat right next to the door with his stupid fucking bike all folded up to his right and right in the aisle where the doors open and this his precious little bag is to his left. He sits with both his phones in his hands and is wearing his high-vis today. What the fuck is the fucking point? If you want to ride your motherfucking bike then ride it – it’s like driving to a park to take your dog for a walk. Fucking pointless. If you must insist on your bike coming with you on public transport on a rush hour train, don’t sit with it next to you, stand by the doors which don’t open out of the fucking way. A lot of people don’t spot him and that fucking bike so come round the corner zombie style on their phone and end up impaling their shin on his piece of shit bike. I await the day he is no longer here and judging by his selfishness it won’t be much longer until the bike and he have met their end. Woman to my right is making a collage on her phone with some sort of jesus-fied background and a picture of a grimacing child in the middle. What q lucky kid getting that for their birthday and not a My Little Pony or Sindy. Give me strength. Train was meant to be on time but it all fucked up between Belvedere and Plumstead for some reason – no mention of a delay or excuse given of course because the delay wasn’t enough to make their official figures. Scumbags. Time to post so I can give that fold-up bike wanker evil looks through the back of my head.

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