Selfie Wanker

24 Nov

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Apologies for no post this morning but I had company and made another friend too. The 7.41 was delayed the same as it was yesterday morning but the fast train was also fucked so when I arrived, the lady – Debbie I learned today – was there and we decided after tracking the 7.51 that waiting for that was a better option. The 7.41 was rammed when it arrived and all the sheep just piled right on, including New Posh Pikey and his sort of fuckwits. The 7.51 was about two minutes behind and so we happily got on there – Ball Airer was also there as he now gets the 7.51 all the time – and we sat and slagged off New Posh Pikey as she has also noticed what is complete an utter arsehole he is. I told her I saw him on Friday evening and he was the same as he is in the morning; pushing and chatting shit on his phone. So that train also ended up being delayed and then the bus was slow as I landed at London Bridge at 8.30 so I got to work at about 8.55 – what a fucking joke when I left the house at 7.25. The title refers to a man I saw – above – who thought taking a selfie on the platform was good. I see these photos ending up as profile pics on social media and worse still online dating profiles and for some reason they think it looks good. A selfie of that sort is fine if you are with friends and completely wankered but on your own it is just stupid. At least make your life look glamorous rather than dull as fuck. I had the ipod in before we had even left as an Amy Childs wannabe sat down opposite on her phone, gobbing on as loudly as possible about her dull life. I’m not sure if she’s actually Asian or just totally fake tanned and I’m not going to ask for fear of a punch. That reminds me of a girl I saw last week while I had to stand all the way home on the train. Golden brown face and neck and then pasty white hands – she may have had vitiligo but I doubt it and probably is just suffering from bad lighting and Fuckwitligo. This one keeps preening her extensions and pulling whimsical faces in the style of a typical Amy Childs wannabe and so that’s my cue to post as we have collected the livestock from London Bridge and I’m done. Laters, bitches.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes but it was posted with WordPress for BlackBerry dahling.

http://www.facebook.com/Observations-Of-A-Commuter

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