The Welcome Party

7 Sep

Yes, I am back and raring to go. I am also not being 100% truthful with that first statement but anyway. Managed to get the 96 and for some reason not only were there two 96 buses in convoy but they were both pretty empty. This lulled me in to a false sense of security and now I’m on the platform and I had to check that the 7.31 had been through as it is positively brimming with fuckwits and all are annoying me. Not only the fuckwits on the platform were there to greet me, but also a huge number of ticket inspectors all stood like a rugby scrum outside of the doors. The moron in front of me is a bit slow and didn’t realise they were there until he got to them, and then did the pocket check to look for a ticket that clearly doesn’t exist. Why do they bother? If you need a ticket to get on to the train for them then you need it every day and will of course be able to lay your hands right on it – obviously this fuckwit is one of the people who don’t bother getting a ticket. So on board the train and desperately trying to sit on one seat but the man to my right is needing to air his balls and is therefore taking up half of my seat so I’m poking out into the aisle. Oh look, I started to spread my own legs and he has moved – nice work, BdJ, another small win for women everywhere. It is only right as my balls are much bigger than his. This is my lot now until Christmas so I had better get back into this mindset of ladyspreading and ensuring I am sitting as comfortably as the “men” are on the train and bus. Thank fuck the tube strikes have been called off for this week as they were slightly worrying. Can you imagine how bad that would have been with all the schools back? I would have hurled myself in front of a train to spare me the hell of having to get the bus with the twats again. Time to post as I try and keep the boundary from moving by my right thigh – that fucker isn’t stealing my space again today.

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