True Story

20 Jul

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I forgot to share this with you this morning and it is a true story that was sent to me by none other than the Baroness of Amazingstoke as she was making her way to work on Friday I think it was. This actually happened as I know she would not embellish on the truth as she is an honest and upstanding member of the community and she was forced to SIT ATOP A VIB when she snooty fucking bitch refused to move it out of the way. I don’t think I would have gone so far as to sit on the bag in question, I would have just physically moved it myself for fear of killing it under my bulk, but the Baroness went the whole hog and plonked her tiny bum down on the bag and showed it and it’s owner who is the boss. On to this evening and I am ready to stab my eyes out with a pencil because of the two morons sitting next to me having a very in depth conversation. They know people called Boris and Edgar and that makes me worry. The voice next to me is so fucking grating. You would expect it to be posh what with knowing Boris, Edgar and Jocasta (I made that last one up) but no, she has a whiney northern accent and I am more than ready to drown her out with the ipod. In fact I need to do that now because I  ready to die.

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