Glass Houses

10 Jul

Possibly one of the most hilarious moments happened earlier when I briefly left the office to let Lord and Lady de Jour know that their only child had purchased a ticket to see Usain Bolt at the Anniversary Games in a couple of weeks time. It was around 9.30am and no less than four cyclists came speeding along the pavement right outside of work because the road is closed and has been for months. No need to ride along the pavement but they still do it and when I see them, I tell them in no uncertain terms that they are teats and in fact that is what I say. So one who passed by one way to park his Boris Bike at the stand nearby and had the words cast upon him had had time to think. He came bowling around the corner on foot and opened with “lay off the cakes and pies, it’s Friday” and it was so preposterous that he could say that because he was too a fatty, clad in lycra and thinking he was shit hot. People in glass houses my dear should not throw stones – obviously went for the fat line because he literally had no other comeback to my point that he was a twat riding along the pavement. It has tickled me all day every time I thought of it – standing there with his hands on his love handles, calling me fat all the while pretty much still undulating from when he got off his bike. Worse was to come this evening when I was crossing the road, and already out onto a zebra crossing when a two-wheeled sub human decided he didn’t need to stop and carried right on, and swerved around me – wrong move. Firstly he is abused for continuing when he is meant to stop, then because he apparently didn’t see me – obvs went for the benefit of the doubt albeit sarcastically – “how could you miss me? I’m like a roundabout but on legs that moves” much to the amusement to my companions but he didn’t even respond. The 18.37 has just pulled out at 18.42 so we are in for a fun time journey this evening but that is standard. I need to get the 7.16 in the morning and I’m not looking forward to that at all. Poor me. Posting now.


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