Perched

16 Jun

The 7.41 was on time and I’m aboard, with most of my left ass cheek hanging off the seat due to the manspreading arsehole playing Candy Crush next to me. He needs to ensure his elbow is poking out into my persona so that he can do well on this level – christ. Gobby chavvy dirty builder shouting down his phone – bragging about getting sunstroke on his Ibiza holiday and how he didn’t drink water for three days. What a clever scumbag he is. We all muat relive his holiday and also hearing him brag about his sweet labouring job in Greenwich while his mate is up Lahndahn and of course, this one couldn’t be fucked to go all the way up there to work. This arsehole to my right better get up and get off soon as I need to sit properly. Orange chunky woman is boarding at Woolwich Dockyard and she has sat opposite the gobby pikey – it is clear she wants to shag him because he is so her type; gobby, generic and thick. God I need to post and get the ipod on – it’s all too much for me today.

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