11 Jun


Got to the station at 18.34 so I didn’t want to rush for the overly busy 18.37 and instead I’m on the 18.46 which is blissfully empty. I went to Sainsburys and as I haven’t got food shopping in a while, I have two shopping bags with me after scooping up all the reduced stickers. Damn, my empty carriage gas been infiltrated by fuckwits – a him and a her who seemingly can’t speak properly. They sound like they are on Jeremy Kyle and are wearing chavvy clothes. This is the usual fodder for this line rather than the Apprentice wannabes of a few weeks ago. I love this train but it seems like a lifetime to wait for it to get ready to leave. The sun was out today in case you missed it and so the hilarious sight of seeing 100 people clustered outside a pub in a meter square of sunshine was making me guffaw loudly. Anything to stand in the sun to have a pint, isn’t it. There is very little sunshine falling in built up areas because of the build up areas and instead of looking like the cool crowd having a pint after work, they look like people having been evacuated from a burning building. It’s as intimate as standing on a packed tube with no room to even lift your drink to your gob – just go inside or go home. It’s still only 18.43 and I feel as if I have been on this train for a lifetime. We are yet to move. Woman opposite is fanning herself as she is hot. I’d imagine she wouldn’t be as hot if she stopped fanning as fanning is making her hotter… What a fool. Great – Heston Blumenthal has sat opposite me and is spreading out with his legs crossed and a paper over his knees. Let me try and get a picture… Got it. What an idiot he looks? He is now making a call – give me strength. Oh thank fuck it was a call saying he will be home in about 15 minutes and so we can quite rightly assume he lives on Greenwich and I think I would have guessed that anyway judging by his attire as it is screaming delusions of grandeur. We are moving at last – time got sunglasses and ipod. Adieu, Obborati.


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