Bobbling Asses

20 May

I have had the misfortune today to have been forced to see more than a handful – in more ways than one – of huge, bobbling lycra-clad asses while walking to the station, and those asses were on bikes all thinking they looked fucking amazing. It took all my strength to hold down last night’s dinner. Absolutely vile – you should have a licence to wear that shit. On to the train and all the seats by the doors were filled with people and I spied a nice seat and then realised that slumping sleeping wanker was taking up all the leg room as usual so I am sitting in a completely different seat on the other side of the train. One of the Woolwich Dockyard orange women are sitting opposite him now but in a very upright position because of the amount of room he takes up and he refuses to move a fucking inch. I am sitting next to a rather gorgeous specimen though which is a bonus and he smells lovely. I had a woman next to me at the station who had that horrible perfume on that smells like she has just got out of bed and hasn’t washed – it makes me feel sick every time I get a whiff. I am glad I don’t know what it’s called because just knowing what it smells like is enough. I left the house pretty early today and somehow I still wasn’t able to get a bus and so I trampled down the highstreet, past a high vis man fixing something in a telecoms box and then a seperate high vis man who was slumped over asleep with a White Lightening bottle next to him. Two types of high vis man in one walk – impressive. The train driver made everyone laugh out loud when he made an announcement. This was made after people had run down the steps and caused the train to be delayed because they were fucking about with holding the doors open. He said “next time, get out of bed earlier” and that is word for word what I usually say out loud to these wankers when I am sitting near enough. It really is like they are stalking me; first S Club and then this. I am worried. Time to post.

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