I’m Done

13 Mar

I am shattered – the week should have been done days ago but no, only just got to Friday. Just saw the 18.37 leave on time as I was getting on to the 18.46 – make a note of the date as it won’t be on time again for at least ten days now. Bus journey from London Bridge was interesting this morning. Sorry, did I say interesting? Sorry, I meant fucking disgusting and vomit-inducing. I had the misfortune of having a trampy old woman come and sit next to me, and when I say next to me, I mean on top of me. She was fucking honking of piss and weeks of filth. She can’t have been that hard up though as she had a bank card that she used to pay to get on the bus. Loads of bags and the obligatory trolley, and she was wearing a once tan coloured sheepskin coat that was virtually black with ingrained filth. Her hair was matted with grease and she wasn’t all there in the head. She kept making a screeching noise like a fucking owl which made everyone on the bus turn around and clock me grimacing at the stench. I tried to keep my face turned away and when we were getting to Old Street I had to look to ask her to move – she had fallen asleep and was leaning out into the aisle. The looks of pity aimed at me now we’re hilarious as I didn’t know what to do as I didn’t want to touch her for fear of catching ebola or similar. Eventually she moved and I got off. Immidiately, the thigh that she had pressed herself against felt damp and when I thought about the experience I started gagging as I was walking down towards work. How fucking rank is that? I know it’s public transport but surely they can provide a special bus for people that stink like that? I can deal with a bit of BO as that is standard, bit anything worse that smells like earwax or pasties, or like this dirty old bint should be made to travel elsewhere because the chance of vomit by fellow passengers is very high indeed. I wanted to pour acid down my leg to clean it off. I think I will burn my jeans and coat when I get home to ensure the smell doesn’t linger. Coming up to 18.46 and overdramatic whistle blowing is occurring on the platform and we are off. Time to post and I will catch you on Monday… Enjoy, Obborati.


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