Fuckage Will Ensue

25 Feb


The 18.46 is cancelled due to some random generic reason and the 18.00 and 18.12 both left five minutes late so I am fully expecting more fuckage. The 18.20 is now advertised at five minutes minutes late as well – what the fuck is the problem? There is an alert about issues on another line so I don’t know why that is fucking up Greenwich line trains – anyone know? It is 18.43 and the train has only just pulled in to platform five and the next train is cancelled so this is going to be fucking rammed. I made sure I got on first so I have bagged a window seat which is a rarity these days. The platform announcement said that the train had arrived at about 18.39 but I am not sure what they were referring to unless they had sent an invisible train. The driver of this service has just slumped past me down the platform to take up his seat in the plush cab fitted out with caviar and Krug on tap – fucking arsehole. Hurry the fuck up. Woman who has penned me in is clicking her nails and making me feel rather sick – she also just took a random picture accidently on her phone as the flash went off but I don’t even think she knows that she did it. You know these types who think they need a smartphone but are as thick as shit (most people) well she is one and she is old and should stick with a Nokia 3210. I need my ipod as that racket is driving me fucking mad. It sounds like knitting needles clattering together. Just pulling out now at 18.48 – I have been delayed a total of 30 minutes this week so surely I am due a rebate? Now for the fun trying to get a platform slot at London Bridge but then again we can breeze through as the 18.46 usually leaves this late anyway. Below is a lovely sight that I spied while waiting on the platform – it is a very much battered pigeon. Lovely that it is just left there to fester, isn’t it. I was so tempted to leap down to join it to put myself out of this fucking miserly. Below the dead and pigeon is a picture of a penny – let me just interrupt myself to say that London Bridge is so rammed that we almost knocked three or four fuckwits over who were walking tooclose to the platform edge – and I just pissed myself laughing because I imagine it is a tainted penny as it was soaking up the Southeastern fuckery on that concourse. Weirdly, there is about two or three people only standing – what is going on? This is two trains worth of people yet we aren’t brimming with the bleating and clattering livestock begging people to move down. Maybe that penny was lucky after all… We are still waiting to leave though at 18.54 – jesus Christ I left work a fucking hour ago. I am not doing this again tomorrow. I think the DLR is in order. As always we are being being held at a red signal, meanwhile the Eltham train on platform one has gone and the one behind it is also breezing through. It’s a fucking joke.




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