Choke

17 Dec

Bloke sitting in front of me on the train has a handsfree on and is making a call. Both earphones are in and of course he is bellowing. He has the wires wrapped around his ears and chin to ensure the microphone is practically inside his gob while he speaks. The person on the other end must be deaf. I hope this fucker chokes on the cables wound around his neck so I don’t have to listen anymore. He is one of these who ambles along and then just wanders to a door as it pulls in, even when there are two people already waiting in the right place. Then he got on behind me and shuffled in as slow as you fucking like to choose a seat and bearing in mind I was the only person occupying one of 22 empty seats, he had a lot of choice and still took his time. Now he is sat there with his scabby looking brown VIB nestled next to him while he sits sideways in the window seat with his legs crossed into the space where his VIB would put it’s legs if it had any. What a cock? People like that don’t deserve to breathe let alone get onto MY train. I was due to venture to the O2 for my last visit of 2014 this evening but that has been postponed as Roger Daltrey has a throat infection but after Michael Bublé last night, it has taken it right out of me so I’m ready to go and slob out and watch trashy TV. Ugh there was a silent bit in my ears as the track was changing and I heard the bloke on his phone again – what a cringey fucker. He sounds like he thinks he should be on the Apprentice and we all know what those people are like. I have noticed he has dandruff and a dark coloured coat on so it is standing out as though he threw salt over his shoulder at lunchtime and it stayed. The wires are so tight around his chin that I can see it pulling his ear forward as he speaks as he has some wrapped wound the back of his ear. Too cheap to get a Bluetooth headset even though they are dirt cheap now, but then again he probably wouldn’t know how to pair it with his phone. Time to post – not even left Cannon Street but I think we will be on time. Nearly Friday…

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