Sprayed

10 Nov

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Walk into Cannon Street after my brush with the Prime Minister – more about that later – and past a man sitting down on the end of a row of seats. He sneezes, doesn’t cover his face and I actually heard the snot disperse onto the slippery surface that is known as the station floor. What a sexy fucker, hey? He moved his face away from his iPad so that wasn’t sprayed but the floor is fine, and then all his scabby germs are in the air. Ebola here we come. Apparently there is a double train failure at Cannon Street causing fuckage but thankfully not for once with the 18.46 – the insincere man is on overdrive with his insincere apologies from himself and his overpaid colleagues. Bunch of wankers. Two failed trains? What a crock of shit. So to my brush with the PM this evening – he is above for you to see and he passed me twice. Once here on King William Street and then I skipped through St Swithins Lane and he came at me again from the other side down Cannon Street with his police entourage who were weirdly blowing whistles as opposed to using the sound on their police bikes. I caught sight of him when he first passed me and as soon as I heard the mêlée of bikes and saw the blue lights flashing I stayed on the traffic island to ensure I was in prime position. He was sitting in the back on the left side, head down and reading and looking very dapper indeed in a white bow tie and dinner jacket. Must be something up the palace tonight possibly as he was heading over that way. When he passed me again I saw he wasn’t alone in the back, but he was with another bloke dressed the same so no mincey night out for Sam Cam tonight. Lovely, the train fuckage for the other lines means that my train is now rammed with people going one stop instead of just walking. Man just got on with crutches and not one fucker has asked if he wants to sit down. I would have asked but I am on the inside by the window and I can barely squeeze in so he will have no chance. Posting now – you must be loving my PM update because that is the most exciting thing to have happened in weeks.

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