Sexy Jody

7 Nov

Fucking hell, give me strength. I had to ask a fat prick to move himself from inbetween two seats in order for me to sit on one. He has shit music, a massive bag that no doubt contains his lunch and is texting one of his contacts who is known as Sexy Jody and I can only assume that Jody is anything but sexy. He has the font really big on his phone which is how I was able to see this name so freely and he is just scrolling through Facebook now on his massive Samsung phone – we know what I think of iPhone users but I also have an opinion of Samsung users and it isn’t nice. Especially when they are listening to shit music and it is just coming out of their naff two quid headphones. He hasn’t fully moved over so I am hanging off the seat on one side and virtually having sex with him on the other. Why don’t they sit properly? Why do they insist on grasping their phone in the same way and place as they would if they were wanking? Yes, it is right down low between his legs and his massive lunch bag is on the floor – more than enough room on his massive lap and it was special enough to be cuddling up to him on the seat next to him before I arrived and broke them up. Maybe the bag is Sexy Jody – could be. He looks like the sort of bloke to fall in love with something to do with food. Oh great, the gobby women have got on at Woolwich Dockyard and they have that Friday feeling and are being very loud indeed. Christ I’m going to post as I want to listen to my own music as opposed to the shit Sexy Jody’s pal is listening to. I don’t want to have to shed blood this close to remembrance Sunday.

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