Spitter Twat

23 Sep

Obviously this is my witty palindrome of Twitter Spat and that is just what occurred today and it’s been a while. The last one was that dull Birmingham blogger who thought his journey to New Street was worthy of BBC coverage. That was a while ago. Yes the Twitter spat was with a moronic American who claimed to despise Lindsay Lohan and everything she does yet he follows her family members on Twitter, sends tweets to anyone she has tweeted and basically stalks her. What a fuckwit, hey? You can check that out on Twitter. Back to the matter in hand and I am on the 18.46 which could be mistaken for a restaurant as the man in front is tucking in to his dinner. The window seat is his table where his beefy crisps are and he is sitting on the aisle seat chomping down on a flatbread while shovelling the whiffy crisps into his gaping cavernous gob with the other between flatbread gulps. Oh now he is getting his drink on and has shaken the plastic bottle to make his smoothie mixed properly and he is savouring the flavour whilst reading the label whilst he gives his teeth a rest. Surely it’s better to read it before you buy it? He is back to chomping now with his gob wide open and making a meal of it all quite literally. About to pull into London Bridge and you can bet your bottom dollar he won’t be giving up his “table” for someone to sit down. Christ the crisps are really stinking. Cheap smelling but I don’t think they are from the look of him. Here we go – we have stopped. The VIB opposite has moved her bags… Carriage filling up and there it is, he moved over. Sitting on his own table now and the crunching is even louder now it is directly in front of me. Heavy breather has now also penned me in so I’m going to post and then get the iPod put – enough of other people’s noise for one day.

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