Waddling Heifer

27 Aug


Fuck me she was huge. Waddling along with her phone clamped to her ear with one hand and a bucket of Starbucks iced coffee daintily balanced in the other and she had absolutely no idea about anything going on around her. She just strolled right out into the road where luckily she wasn’t in the path of anything larger than her – just three buses and seven lorries which were all much smaller – and then she continued to waddle and waffle while a poor man was trying to circumnavigate her bulk as she weaved from side to side. I just shouted “tell her to get her fat ass out the way” but it was lost as she was on another planet and he was busy trying to get past her. Fuck knows why she had to get such a massive bucket of coffee – I don’t know what they call it either in Starbucks as they use mincey names that only people who go there know. Why they can’t just use small, medium and large is beyond me. Anyway, enough of that fuckwit as we can move on to our other ones of the journey. First the picture above of the fuckwittery cyclist who was completely unaware that the ambulance he chose to stop behind was in fact parked. Oddly nobody else had the problem when I watched but he managed to and it took a good few moments for it to register that the traffic was moving to his right. These people are apparently safe on the road. I beg to differ. On the train now and we have the token VIB who is also an iPhone jabber with her “dainty” porker sticking out while her bags sit patently beside her. Of all the eight seats near me, only the one outside me is empty. In front the overly hairy scabby bloke tossed his backpack into the inside seat, as did the cock opposite me. Hairy is pretty vile as he keeps subconsciously digging his head and ears as he reads a book. Feeling ill doesn’t even come close. Oh the woman has finally moved her bags over to allow a human to sit. The two men haven’t bothered. Great, now I have a newspaper reader penning me in who will be flapping the paper in my chops before too long. As you can see below as well, the telephone box is oddly still flat on its back. I wonder when they will bother to resurrect it. Time to post – I’m done with this fuckery today.




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