Oversharing

22 Aug

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There is a group of people on this train who don’t know each other but are all waffling on as though it was the last train home on a Friday night and they are all drunk. Oversharing and talking shit very loudly. Oh thank fuck, they have all – nine of them – got off at Woolwich Arsenal. One of them was sharing the story about falling asleep on his train to work only to end up being half way back again before waking up and realising. Now to me that just screams fuckwit. He looked like a fuckwit as well, with a dove grey suit on and carrying a small packed lunch bag for himself and then one for the woman he was with. She also looked like a fuckwit but that is a given. I am now revelling in the quiet although I did put my ipod on loudly to drown out the wartime spirit that is unnecessary on a Friday morning commuter train. I am behind Oompa and her moronic mother this morning and they are deep in conversation inside their orange bubble. Oompa Lumpa is directly in front of me and her massive bun is peeping over the top of the seat and making me want to grab it and smash her head into the back of the seat in front of her so then she has a reason to he as thick as she is. Picture above for your viewing pleasure of aforementioned bun. She is texting whilst applying the layers of war paint to her ugly mush. It really is pretty dangerous sitting so close in case I end up overcome by her clouds of orange. Her mother is hilarious to watch on her iPhone. No doubt she has it so she can be cool like her daughter but she is not intelligent enough for something so complicated. She would have trouble with a Nokia 3210 and so she is well and truly one fingered when it comes to this phone and she is so slow at using it. I’m so glad I can’t hear what shit they are chatting today. I don’t have the strength to listen because I am so tired. Thank fuck today is Friday and tomorrow at least I can sleep to my hearts content. Sunday however I am up Dawn’s crack to see the royals. Time to post… Before I die. I’m out tonight so I doubt there will be a post but you might be lucky. Enjoy the long weekend, Obborati.

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