Frank Spencer

5 Aug

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I love the yoof of today and their logic. Two morons on real old stool roller skates blasting down my road – yes, in the road – last night when I am walking down after going to the Co-op and then a small child coming down the road behind me on a huge mountain bike. All I can hear in muted tones is “excuse me, excuse me” from the kid on the bike and I’m not moving because it’s a fucking pavement. So she finally passes me very wobbly and I say to her that if she wants to ride her bike then she will have to ride along the road. Now my road is off the main high street and isn’t very busy at all really so she will be safe on the road. This altercation is the cue for the morons on skates – who I can only assume are elder siblings – to come and defend her and say that she can ride along the pavement. I just snorted at them, told them no chance and asked why they thought they were any better skating down the road like fucking Frank Spencer with their shopping bags. Where is the logic? Taking the kid out on the bike and making sure she is “safe” on the pavement while they are skating off very fast way further down the road. Take care of the kid properly and watch her better, and teach her to ride her bike on the road. Onto this morning and I am being prodded in the arm by the slag next to me who is having difficulty reading the paper. She has her huge bag on her lap – oddly enough it was already there when I got on so I can only assume she knows who I am – and she has the paper fully stretched out across her rotundness and is flicking through the papers as if she was sitting in a GCSE exam desperately looking for an essay question that she could answer and only finding subjects she knows nothing about. Frantic. Fuck me I just glanced over to her and she has the paper fully open, her head back and her eyes closed. Jesus Christ, try to keep up. Jabba the hut next to me on the bus yesterday morning was like that. The second he flopped down and opened his legs to air his massive cock and balls next to me and he was asleep. Pictured above and below for your viewing pleasure. Legs so far apart they are virtually in different time zones and he travelled about six stops fast asleep before he heaved himself up to get off. How can you sleep on a bus? Oh lovely – we are being held on a red signal at Charlton because the train in front has door issues and we might have to divert. I hate diverting because the people at Blackheath are complete snobs and expect special treatment even though they are on public transport. God it’s only Tuesday. This time last week I was getting myself ready to go and see the gymnastics in Glasgow and now I’m surrounded by morons who sleep while they’re rad the paper and who don’t deserve to live. I’m going to post as I’m getting fidgety. The only saving grace is that the doors of this train have stayed open while we wait at the station and it’s lovely and cool. Fuck the people waiting for the next train – I ain’t bovvered. Wowzers – he has just said we are fast to London Bridge and you and I both know that we will be late.

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Sorry for the spelling mistakes but it was posted with WordPress for BlackBerry dahling.

http://www.facebook.com/Observations-Of-A-Commuter

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