Orange Fridays

11 Jul

Forget Orange Wednesdays with the cinema ticket offer because today we have orange Friday because Oompa Lumpa is sitting in front of me gently applying layer upon layer of orange to her pig ugly face. It is so hilarious to watch as she just brushes and brushes this shit all over her face that is caked in acne that she really should try and treat rather than just blocking up the pores with more shit. It is raining very lightly so far this morning but I am dressed in my summer finest for the date this evening with Eminem. It is meant to stop soon anyway but I do have my anorak just in case. I am not used to outside venues being an O2 whore and I don’t think I will venture to Wembley again any time soon as it’s such a mission. Getting home is going to be absolute hell. I shall put on a brave face though. Jesus across from me is a woman putting up a good competition to the Oompa Lumpa school of orange because she is also applying her face as if she didn’t have one before. Just glanced over to see her shaping the lipstick that she has put on with a cotton bud. Fuck me the woman next to me has now started after reaching into has massive bag that was sitting where I am before it got evicted. Just do it before you leave the house dears. I manage it and I don’t like getting up before I have to. It’s like sitting in a reality TV show about ugly people getting a makeover. The amount of shit these women carry around is amazing. I have no makeup at all in my bag – natural beauty doesn’t need all that old gash. I’m so lucky. Time to post now as the train is getting a touch too busy for my liking on a Friday.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes but it was posted with WordPress for BlackBerry dahling.


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