She’s Back

12 Mar

I heard her dulcet tones before I spied her pig ugly mush but she is here – Amy Childs wannabe. Oh my fucking god – it isn’t actually her after that build up but it is the same scenario. Gobbing, blonde, makeup application, brunette with a terracotta face next to her. Wow who knew that would happen? What a terrible thing to know that there is another woman like her breathing and now on my train. This woman is older but she sounds exactly the same. She has a very furrowed brow – rather like a puckered arsehole – and she could be Amy Childs wannabe’s mother. I can even hear the same laugh. It has to be her. I can’t see properly and it is pissing me off. Nope – it is her for sure. She is sitting on the other side of the carriage and I spotted Oompa Lumpa’s massive bun. Fuck me what a drama. Ball airer is sitting in front of me and facing me so I am trying not to make eye contact as he is so fucking vile. Two woman sitting between me and the wannabe are also facing me, while sitting next to each other and chattering but they keep looking at me. I don’t blame them because I am gorgeous but please, make it less obvious that you want to be me. A small anecdote from the bus last night. Kids ruled the seats and buggies ruled the aisles and so the standing folk were snuggled somewhere in between. Kid sitting in the disabled seat while his overweight mother stood with the buggy nearby and he didn’t shift his tracksuited ass for anyone to sit down. He was about 10 or 11 and clearly hadn’t been to school or seen soap and water for sometime. He started banging his head against the rail on the back of the seat in front. The man next to me said to him he should stop because it was silly and it could hurt. Did the fucker stop, no. I just said that there was nothing inside there he could damage so knock yourself out quite literally. I need my ipod now as that fucking mouth whore is making me want to gouge my eyes out to distract myself from her awful voice. Enjoy your day, Obborati.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes but it was posted with WordPress for BlackBerry dahling.


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