Grow A Pair

14 Jan

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Just saw a man carrying his girlfriends handbag while strolling along St. Swithins Lane – and he was carrying it, not just holding it while she needed both hands. Holding it is acceptable but swinging it beside you as you walk along isn’t. For all I know it could be his and have didn’t have a bag. Roles reversed and he carried all of her shit in his bag instead of the other way round. On the train and two men are talking films. One says to the other “it’s kind of like Carrie” and the other bloke was like “what’s that?” and he doesn’t even know what it is. I am on the 18.21 as there is train fuckage with no explanation but I can’t complain as I’m leaving here early. This is the train brimming with fuckwits though. I was tempted to ask a fat slag to move her VIB so I could sit down but then I just couldn’t be arsed. A veritable cornucopia of photos for you this evening. First a man I saw last week but didn’t manage to get a picture of but I got him today. Attention seeker on one wheel and my hate for one wheel is as bad as it is for two. It’s like a disabled cyclist as it has one limb missing but he doesn’t care as he looks cool as fuck of course. Speeding along on what I can only describe as part-Segway and part-unicycle. No need for it at all. No need for it on the road, no helmet on his head – but nothing to protect of course – and just no need. Oh yeah, I already said that. What a wanker? Then we have a Dainty Elephant who was trying to hail a cab but she should have just walked because for Humpty Dumpty a nice walk dragging her mincey case would have done her the world of good instead of getting a cab. Man from the bus this morning – two seats, one ass, one paper, one VIB and one fucking moron who was happy to let his VIB sit when there were people standing as you can see. Lastly a barrage of refuse blocking the tiny pavement outside of a church. What are they throwing away? The train is now rammed as people who are waiting for the 18.30 and 18.46 have had the same stroke of luck I have had and are on this train. It is horrible. Woman opposite has just finished reading her Evening Standard and folded it up and slipped it behind her back because to her, that means it no longer exists. Now she’s having a phone call. Fuck this shot. I need the ipod to help me escape from the moronic loudness fuckwittery.

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