Bow Legged Wonder

7 Jan

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I have seen and made a mental note of two males today who both had on drainpipe jeans and both had bowed legs. Really bowed. I thought about this for a moment and came to the conclusion that it must be the same reason men sit with their legs agape – because they have such massive cock and balls. The legs must have been gradually bent out of shape over the years since puberty to accommodate the massive genitalia as they walk along. This must be the reason. I have also noted today that men tend to walk with their legs agape as they are texting at the same time as walking and the walk breaks into a bowl and as soon as the phone has been slipped back into their pocket they walk normally. Again I wonder why it is so important to look at it en route. Walked past a male who was looking at his Instagram feed while walking to Cannon Street and I don’t get it. You are going to be sat on a train shortly for at least thirty minutes so why not use that time to waste time looking at pictures of people’s dinner and kids? Woman this morning at London Bridge got out her phone the moment she stepped off of the train and proceeded to fuck about in the doorway for what seemed like an eternity while other people were trying to get past. Why do it then? You have sat on a train doing fuck all and decide the moment to retrieve your phone is the second your feel leave the Southeastern peasant wagon. Just saw something really vile. At Cannon Street they have advertisement boards that are tvs so you can see what they are advertising in glorious moving images. Well, I have just seen Nigella Lawson and then other two judges of her new show that starts tonight – and I will not not even bother with – show us their organ face to illustrate that it is “all about the taste” and all the while on this screen no food was shown it was just their faces. Why do that? I don’t want to see that. On the train now and I pray for the health of everyone on the trains in front of ours just in case one feels a bit woozy after not deep throating a mince pie for ten minutes. Fucking liberty that was last night. Why the fuck did they have to even let the train go from Cannon Street when minutes later it is diverted to Bexleyheath and then I get emails telling me about other trains that were delayed. They already fucking knew about this stationary train but just didn’t bother to tell anyone. When I got to London Bridge and got off to see when the next train was they were still showing trains going down the Greenwich line. Where is the coordination? Why is it so difficult for them to get a story straight? I have our first VIB visual of 2014 for you this evening – aren’t you lucky? At least he isn’t deep throating crisps as well like the moron last night in the same place. I also have a lovely picture for you because Oscar Pistorius has been cleaned off now on Epworth Street and I am most pleased (doesn’t happen very often as you know) and he is below for you. Time to post as I am needing to drown out a tittering slag on her phone.

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