Normal?

29 Oct

Well I say that and the fast train has just gone through beside me and it was completely rammed. It looked as though it was short formed. Hoorah. Posh Pikey arrived and is wearing sunglasses. When I say sunglasses I mean sunglasses like Audrey Hepburn and he just tried to get into a carriage which was out of service and thus missed a chance at getting a seat. Sitting next to a fat labourer in a scabby jumper and I am unsure if he is talking to himself or if he is on the phone. I can’t see a phone or headphones but he keeps speaking. I think he is mental and this is why he does a job that doesn’t require intelligence or a national insurance number. I had to get him to move his immense bulk as he was sitting on the outside seat and with his bag on his lap. Turns out he was on the phone but he is still as thick as shit as he keeps sorting up his phlegm. It is most attractive. Still finding it hilarious that Posh Pikey is so thick that he thinks he can get into a carriage that is out of service when it is completely empty. How can he be that thick? Delusions of grandeur and trying to be a smart ass. Failed miserably and I had to laugh as he wandered back past me trying to look cool buy looking like a dick head. Fatty next to me is sitting with his thunder thighs agape. This means that my own thigh is hanging off the edge of the seat and I am in the way. Someone else just tried to get into the empty carriage. My word there are a lot of stupid people today. If you see a seat, sit in it. Don’t walk past to get into a carriage that you couldn’t enter from the outside. Isn’t that common sense? He is now stood up next to the toilet – bet he wishes he hadn’t tried to be such a smart ass now. There is a reason why this carriage is packed and it is because the next one isn’t open. Do the maths, dear. We aren’t all fucking zombies. Time to post as I can’t stand the nasal snorting anymore from the rotund neighbour.

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